[His eyes dart from one miraculously appearing item to the next. It should be reassuring. Mikado has gotten almost too good at this believing crap. He's doing alright here. It's not though, and Masaomi hates himself for that. The more Mikado conjures up with that effortless bravado, the harder Masaomi's own uselessness slaps him in the face.
Of course, the more useless he feels, the more useless he becomes. In his hands, the power of belief is nothing but a handicap.]
You've gotten pretty good at this. I didn't think...
[He trails off, not sure what he's trying to say himself. Maybe he just thought none of this, neither of them, would turn out this way.]
[ Maybe it's not the right time to show off, but he'd just been trying to help. He checks the pot, busying himself with that ramen even though he's not sure his friend will really feel like eating, or for that matter, whether he will. He doesn't look at Masaomi as he speaks again. ]
I... always did have a big imagination, though not always in the best ways. Some of the things I dream up are pretty scary, but it's nice being able to use it in good ways too.
[ He hunches a shoulder slightly. ]
I just want to make things as nice for you as I can. And if you need me to stay out here tonight, I can, but after that... I really should try to help more people.
[Mikado's lack of eye contact is mirrored in Masaomi's downward gaze.]
I'm really glad you're here. Not that you're stuck here, but... You know.
[Masaomi shrugs. He's glad that he's not alone. As surreal as it is to sit here while Mikado conjures up an entire camp site, as pathetic and outside of everything as he feels after what's happened, it allows him to appreciate Mikado's concern all the more. He's not uncomfortable because of what Mikado's doing; he's uncomfortable because he doesn't deserve it. Mikado has always indulged him like that.
It probably makes him a terrible person, but he decides to cling to that right now.]
This is a lot better than lying on a rock and talking to my shadow. It just means I've gotta up my game.
[And fast. In more ways than one. He laughs under his breath, a bitter, barely audible self-deprecation.]
It's pretty sad when the emperor has to feed his vassal.
Would you want to follow an emperor who would let his vassal starve?
[ For all that things are strange in this world, including sometimes between them, Mikado doesn't have to stop and think about this answer. He doesn't have to stop and think about whether he should do anything for Masaomi, or whether his friend deserves it, or even whether he deserves Masaomi. The words come out easily, naturally, and Mikado stirs the ramen idly as it boils in the pot. ]
[ His voice is serious, a little demanding even perhaps. But then the moment is past, and he's moving to dish up ramen into bowls that appear out of nowhere, hand one off to his friend. He settles down as if he plans to eat quietly; he doesn't really mind more talking, but doesn't need it either, and it's pretty much just a matter of what Masaomi needs, now.
If his friend can eat something, it'll make Mikado feel a lot better, at least. ]
[Talking isn't something he's very good for right now. Talking requires either admittance or denial, and he doesn't have the energy for either. He feels that's evidenced pretty obviously in their conversation thus far. But he doesn't want to think about that either, so he accepts the offered ramen and promptly focuses his attention on it, letting the smell invade his nostrils as a nausea test.
When no vomit is imminent, one little sip is followed by another is followed by a cautious mouthful. Maybe it's the relief or even just Mikado's presence (because it's certainly not the taste), but it takes everything he has not to cry into the bowl.]
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no subject
Of course, the more useless he feels, the more useless he becomes. In his hands, the power of belief is nothing but a handicap.]
You've gotten pretty good at this. I didn't think...
[He trails off, not sure what he's trying to say himself. Maybe he just thought none of this, neither of them, would turn out this way.]
no subject
[ Maybe it's not the right time to show off, but he'd just been trying to help. He checks the pot, busying himself with that ramen even though he's not sure his friend will really feel like eating, or for that matter, whether he will. He doesn't look at Masaomi as he speaks again. ]
I... always did have a big imagination, though not always in the best ways. Some of the things I dream up are pretty scary, but it's nice being able to use it in good ways too.
[ He hunches a shoulder slightly. ]
I just want to make things as nice for you as I can. And if you need me to stay out here tonight, I can, but after that... I really should try to help more people.
no subject
I'm really glad you're here. Not that you're stuck here, but... You know.
[Masaomi shrugs. He's glad that he's not alone. As surreal as it is to sit here while Mikado conjures up an entire camp site, as pathetic and outside of everything as he feels after what's happened, it allows him to appreciate Mikado's concern all the more. He's not uncomfortable because of what Mikado's doing; he's uncomfortable because he doesn't deserve it. Mikado has always indulged him like that.
It probably makes him a terrible person, but he decides to cling to that right now.]
This is a lot better than lying on a rock and talking to my shadow. It just means I've gotta up my game.
[And fast. In more ways than one. He laughs under his breath, a bitter, barely audible self-deprecation.]
It's pretty sad when the emperor has to feed his vassal.
no subject
[ For all that things are strange in this world, including sometimes between them, Mikado doesn't have to stop and think about this answer. He doesn't have to stop and think about whether he should do anything for Masaomi, or whether his friend deserves it, or even whether he deserves Masaomi. The words come out easily, naturally, and Mikado stirs the ramen idly as it boils in the pot. ]
I'm glad you're here. So we're even.
no subject
Good. 'Cause I plan to stick around this time.
[It's a promise.]
no subject
[ His voice is serious, a little demanding even perhaps. But then the moment is past, and he's moving to dish up ramen into bowls that appear out of nowhere, hand one off to his friend. He settles down as if he plans to eat quietly; he doesn't really mind more talking, but doesn't need it either, and it's pretty much just a matter of what Masaomi needs, now.
If his friend can eat something, it'll make Mikado feel a lot better, at least. ]
no subject
When no vomit is imminent, one little sip is followed by another is followed by a cautious mouthful. Maybe it's the relief or even just Mikado's presence (because it's certainly not the taste), but it takes everything he has not to cry into the bowl.]