If I'm not answering, it must be because I'm living with the baddest babe this side of the inner city! Go ahead and leave a message if you're not too overcome with jealousy! Kthxbai!
[Jinx seethes quietly as he holds onto her. Eventually, her eyes stop glowing. She begins to pick at the tiny bits of concrete stuck in her knuckles. At one point, she opens her mouth like she's going to say something, but decides against it. A few more seconds pass and she says it anyway.]
I want you to know that, after I met you, Lucifer and I didn't... [Expecting him to know what that means, she continues.] And I'd never now that you and I are...
I told him to stop talking to me. [She practically blurts it out.]
[Gently, he lets the side of his forehead rest against hers, though not until the glow fades. When she removes anything from her cuts, he takes it and sets it down on his other side. He's not about to push anything now that she's calmed down, so he's glad when she gets up the nerve to talk on her own. Her choice of confession earns her a small if slightly embarrassed smile.
He's not the type of guy who deserves to hear that.]
[That catches her completely off guard, which means that there's no way to hold back the loud snort that escapes her. She clamps a bloody hand down on her mouth in an attempt not to laugh. Emotionally drained means emotionally stupid, and she has to bury her face on Kida's shoulder.
Then she nods.]
You just can't compare to the Devil's tits. [She was upset, jealous, so angry she couldn't think, and now she's just losing it after that sentence actually leaves her mouth.] His vessel just really needs to lay off the demon blood and peanut butter sandwiches.
[Continued snickers. Remember to breathe, girl. She releases an amused sigh.]
I can't tell you how...nice it is to be with someone mortal. You're not constantly judging me for having to go to the bathroom or needing to breathe. You sleep. [She nuzzles her forehead against his shoulder, feeling drained.] You're warm. You have a heartbeat. You don't have a creepy, incestuous relationship with your older brother. [A pause.] I'm assuming.
[It's more than a little strange, and very striking, to have someone revel in the fact that Masaomi is a human being. That is generally the most basic criteria. Kind of like having someone walk up to you and say, "You're breathing. Let's make out." But the way she expresses it, tired yet so sincere, resting on his shoulder while he grips hers, has him wondering just what it would be like to date someone who doesn't need to do... any of that.
And then she says four little words. Four little words that remind him of a tense talk with one Hino Rei and an act witnessed over a public feed. His hold over her shoulder tightens, and his reply is firm, pronounced.]
I would never, ever hit you.
[He doubts it would hurt even if he did, but that doesn't change a thing. Nobody is ever going to hurt her again, if he can help it. And that includes himself.]
[The sorceress curls up into him more, a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. For the moment she's quiet. Very quiet. Her eyes clench shut.]
You're so nice to me. [She swallows down that lump in her throat.] No one's ever been this nice to me. You don't wanna hurt me, you don't wanna use me, you put up with me--I've never met anyone like you and I don't deserve you.
[No jokes. No insults. Just an 18-year-old girl who's never had someone she could honestly confide in. Not a day in her life.] But I'm too selfish to let anyone else have you.
[If the situation had been any less serious, he may have tried to laugh things off again. "That's love for you. Turns normal people crazy, and crazy people crazier!" But right now, he can't. Not with Jinx so subdued and insecure, not after she dropped that bomb of her own choice. Whenever she gets to praising him like this, it can be difficult to take, but Jinx is more important that some stupid complex of his own making.
Especially if she just demolished most of a building because he's too friendly with other girls.
Releasing her shoulder, he moves his hand up to run his fingers through her hair.]
Jinx, try and remember who you're talking to over here. [Only mildly self-depreciating. He is the idiot high school kid with nothing but a knife collection and bad aim with which to protect himself or anyone else.] If anyone is putting up with anyone, it's the other way around.
[The sorceress seems to relax as his fingers comb her hair. Her voice quiets as she answers him, brutally honest.]
Someone prettier. Someone dumber. Someone who won't get you killed. [She looks up at him, stressed and guilty.] I don't "put up" with you, stupid.
Remember the first time we met in person? Chef Boyardee? [Her lips twitch with what could have been a smile.] I didn't even know you, but if you'd asked me to stay? I don't think I would've left.
[She flexes her hands, cracking apart thin layers of fresh scabs. New blood seeps up over dried blood and dirt. Time and time again she gives him ways out, but he never takes them. She pushes and pulls him and he just seems to like her more.]
That's not good enough. [She takes her hair away from him, pulling it over one shoulder and smearing it red.] I want you to know, not think. I want everyone to know. If I'm really number one in your life, then I wanna feel like it.
[With his touch duly shunned, he drops his hand into his lap. If she doesn't want him messing with her hair, she's not going to want him checking out scrapes. The boy remains that way for a short while after she finishes, admittedly dampened. He thought he had been treating her like number one, but this entire spectacle seems to be proving otherwise. When will his move finally be the right one?
After a moment, he pushes himself to his feet. The fact that he brushes the dirt off of his butt in front of her may or may not be a purposeful gesture.
One step, two steps, three steps forward. Then he halts, takes a deep breath, cups his hands to his mouth, and shouts at the top of his lungs.]
JINX IS MY ONE AND ONLY GIRLFRIEND, AND IF ANYONE ELSE EVER LAYS A HAND ON HER, I'LL SEND THEM FLYING INTO THE PACIFIC!
[He's quiet and it unnerves her. It always does. Ever since they lived together, she's come to understand that he can't be loud and obnoxious all the time. But when they're talking like this and he shuts down, all she wants to do is curl up into herself until they've both forgotten everything.
When he stands up, she almost does just that. He's going to leave. All the muscles in her body jerk at once as she's about to ungracefully clamber to her feet. Then he stops, she freezes, and he starts yelling.
With the last few words still ringing in the air, the sorceress stands and walks up behind her boyfriend. Only to shove him. Not hard, but enough to know that his romantic display was not at all what she was looking for.]
You're an idiot and my loyalty isn't the one in question here! Were you even listening to me? If anything, I should be screaming threats about--oh wait. [She motions to the house she recently demolished.] I did!
[He catches his balance just as he loses it, certainly not injured by the shove but definitely bothered by it. Teeth clench as his whole body tenses, and he throws out an arm for emphasis.]
I'm not questioning anything! Except maybe my ability not to screw up today! Apparently that's out of order right now.
[Deep breaths, Masaomi. Again, hands fall listlessly to his sides, shoulders slumping. It's difficult to remember sometimes that he's just lucky it was a house and not him.]
I can't make you feel anything, Jinx. You don't make it easy to even try. But I want to. I wouldn't be here if I didn't.
[Yelling, fighting, and hurting people. This is what she's good at. Doing this with Kida is terrifying, because losing him is losing the biggest gamble of her life. She's frustrated that she can't seem to get things out in a way he'll understand. This needs to diffuse and it needs to fast.
Then he says something that makes her so exasperated her head hurts.]
Are you for serious right now? [She stares at him, confounded, before she explodes.] You make me feel everything! I don't even recognize myself when I'm with you! I don't smile. I don't giggle or--or trip up. I don't love people, okay!? But I love you!
Do you understand what that means to me? Because of all the things you make me feel, I rearranged my whole life! I don't have friends, I'm vulnerable, I'm so sexually frustrated I could kill myself, and it's all because you came outta the blue and made me fall for you.
[Wrap it up, Jinx. Think of that one good line. She takes a deep breath then manages two more sentences.]
So don't you dare make all of this not worth it for me because you like flirting! I need commitment and I deserve it.
Well, that's the problem, isn't it? He never knows what feeling is next in store. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's a challenge. Right now it's just exhausting, and that's probably his own fault.
With a relationship comes not only love but responsibility, and that's clearly what Jinx feels is lacking here. It's what he's always lacked, really. He knows it, but he doesn't want to think about it as he tries to curb his frustration, his weariness, his urge to just walk away. He doesn't want to be here, but where can he go? No one else feels like Jinx.
And now it's his responsibility to make sure Jinx doesn't feel like anyone else.
A slight shift of his weight to the right is the only indication that her accusations haven't turned him to stone. Eerily still, gaze downcast, lost in thought. Exactly who doesn't deserve whom again?
"If you know it's a flaw, fix it!"
If even now she can insist she loves him, he should be able to do the same.]
I get it. I get it, okay? You deserve a lot more than just commitment. [He scratches at the back of his neck like a nervous tick until giving up the ghost and dropping his arm into a helpless shrug, as if to say, "This right here is all I've got to give."] Give me another chance to make you feel right. Please.
[Jinx is confused. Frantic. She's caught between thinking she deserves more or nothing at all. Right now, she feels like she's yelling at a wall. It feels miserable. Part of her doesn't even know what point she's trying to get across anymore. She's upset and yelling is what happens when she's upset and Kida just needs to make everything better like he always does.
In just a few, short sentences, he makes her feel like crap. All of the anger just dissolves and it's replaced with something far worse.
The sorceress backs down. Her arms wrap around her thin body and she lowers her chin, eyes wide.]
Is that what you think I'm...I don't wanna break up with you. [She sounds...scared.] I'm just mad and I love you and--don't leave me. Just--forget everything that just happened. Don't go away. Don't go.
[Watching her curl into herself like that again, the way she's automatically willing to overlook everything if he just won't go, doesn't surprise him so much as scare him. What exactly is going on here, that when he tries so hard to agree to do what she wants, she takes it all back? He's quick to close the distance he created, reaching a hand to each side of her jaw with the intention of raising her head again.]
If I don't wanna break up with you, and you don't wanna break up with me, then I'm really, really, really lost.
[His voice is apologetic, accompanied by an ironic chuckle, and his eyes bleed melancholic sincerity.]
I'd do anything for you. That's all I'm trying to say. I swear.
[She only lifts her head for a moment before her arms come around his middle. Both hands grip fists around the back of his shirt and she presses her face into his collarbone. When she exhales, her entire body shudders. She has confidence in her ability to fight. Making up is a whole other story. She's not used to having to.
But he's not going anywhere. Even after she yelled at him, he's not leaving.]
Anything? [She asks it so tentatively, practically clinging to him.]
[Jinx is quiet as she tries to gather her thoughts, piecing them together into one cohesive sentence. After a deep breath, she speaks with her face still buried against him.]
Then tell me you love me, that you'd never cheat on me, and that I'm the only girl you want.
I love you. I'd never cheat on you. You're the only girl I want.
[Is that true? Does he mean it? He misses Saki, he wishes he'd done things differently, but he knows he can be happy without her. He didn't want that to be the case at first, but Mikado and Anri proved it could happen. Jinx is the same.
He doesn't even have to be with her. Just thinking about her makes everything easier, simpler, happier. She's a handful, she's so far over his head that it isn't funny, but she makes him forget all the things he doesn't want to remember and helps him replace them with things he never wants to forget.]
[After he regurgitates it all, she looks up at him. She's a wreck. Watching the emotional roller coaster the girl's strapped into is nothing like perpetually riding it. She was angry, at so many different things. Hell, she's still angry. But she's more afraid now. It's times like these that she remembers how fragile this relationship could become. One fight could wreck everything, just like one confession of love did with Lucifer. But he's stuck with her so far...
And when he repeats his last sentence, it helps ground her. Helps solidify it. The girl's world practically revolves around Kida, and he just doesn't seem to get that. She's crazy about him, in every sense of the word.]
I'll always been your Tsun-Kitten, right? [Remember when she hated that nickname? When she yelled at him for calling her it?]
We're...okay, right? And I don't have to go rip that hussy to shreds?
[The laughter helps her shoulders relax. It even brings a small, tired smirk to her stressed face. The fight's over, right? They're okay because they both said so, and now they can move on. She's the only girl he wants.
Jinx nods a few times before she pushes herself up onto her toes. She lightly catches his lips with a chaste kiss, then comes back down until her boots are flat on the ground.]
Wanna go inside and help me pick...house out of my knuckles?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
call;
I want you to know that, after I met you, Lucifer and I didn't... [Expecting him to know what that means, she continues.] And I'd never now that you and I are...
I told him to stop talking to me. [She practically blurts it out.]
call;
He's not the type of guy who deserves to hear that.]
...Were his boobs better too?
call;
Then she nods.]
You just can't compare to the Devil's tits. [She was upset, jealous, so angry she couldn't think, and now she's just losing it after that sentence actually leaves her mouth.] His vessel just really needs to lay off the demon blood and peanut butter sandwiches.
call;
Oh yeah, I hear that demon blood stuff just blows you right up. Like a balloon. Or two balloons.
call;
[Continued snickers. Remember to breathe, girl. She releases an amused sigh.]
I can't tell you how...nice it is to be with someone mortal. You're not constantly judging me for having to go to the bathroom or needing to breathe. You sleep. [She nuzzles her forehead against his shoulder, feeling drained.] You're warm. You have a heartbeat. You don't have a creepy, incestuous relationship with your older brother. [A pause.] I'm assuming.
[Quieter, she adds:] You don't hit me.
call;
And then she says four little words. Four little words that remind him of a tense talk with one Hino Rei and an act witnessed over a public feed. His hold over her shoulder tightens, and his reply is firm, pronounced.]
I would never, ever hit you.
[He doubts it would hurt even if he did, but that doesn't change a thing. Nobody is ever going to hurt her again, if he can help it. And that includes himself.]
call;
You're so nice to me. [She swallows down that lump in her throat.] No one's ever been this nice to me. You don't wanna hurt me, you don't wanna use me, you put up with me--I've never met anyone like you and I don't deserve you.
[No jokes. No insults. Just an 18-year-old girl who's never had someone she could honestly confide in. Not a day in her life.] But I'm too selfish to let anyone else have you.
call;
Especially if she just demolished most of a building because he's too friendly with other girls.
Releasing her shoulder, he moves his hand up to run his fingers through her hair.]
Jinx, try and remember who you're talking to over here. [Only mildly self-depreciating. He is the idiot high school kid with nothing but a knife collection and bad aim with which to protect himself or anyone else.] If anyone is putting up with anyone, it's the other way around.
Really. If you don't deserve me, then who does?
call;
Someone prettier. Someone dumber. Someone who won't get you killed. [She looks up at him, stressed and guilty.] I don't "put up" with you, stupid.
Remember the first time we met in person? Chef Boyardee? [Her lips twitch with what could have been a smile.] I didn't even know you, but if you'd asked me to stay? I don't think I would've left.
You're it, loverboy. You're all I've got.
call;
[Because if they can't manage to get him killed, clearly they're unproductive.
He chuckles quiet and tired as wandering fingers curl strands of her hair.]
I'm a big loverboy. I can choose my own preferences. And, you know, I think I'm pretty attached to pink on gray.
call;
That's not good enough. [She takes her hair away from him, pulling it over one shoulder and smearing it red.] I want you to know, not think. I want everyone to know. If I'm really number one in your life, then I wanna feel like it.
[Hot and cold.]
call;
After a moment, he pushes himself to his feet. The fact that he brushes the dirt off of his butt in front of her may or may not be a purposeful gesture.
One step, two steps, three steps forward. Then he halts, takes a deep breath, cups his hands to his mouth, and shouts at the top of his lungs.]
JINX IS MY ONE AND ONLY GIRLFRIEND, AND IF ANYONE ELSE EVER LAYS A HAND ON HER, I'LL SEND THEM FLYING INTO THE PACIFIC!
call;
When he stands up, she almost does just that. He's going to leave. All the muscles in her body jerk at once as she's about to ungracefully clamber to her feet. Then he stops, she freezes, and he starts yelling.
With the last few words still ringing in the air, the sorceress stands and walks up behind her boyfriend. Only to shove him. Not hard, but enough to know that his romantic display was not at all what she was looking for.]
You're an idiot and my loyalty isn't the one in question here! Were you even listening to me? If anything, I should be screaming threats about--oh wait. [She motions to the house she recently demolished.] I did!
call;
I'm not questioning anything! Except maybe my ability not to screw up today! Apparently that's out of order right now.
[Deep breaths, Masaomi. Again, hands fall listlessly to his sides, shoulders slumping. It's difficult to remember sometimes that he's just lucky it was a house and not him.]
I can't make you feel anything, Jinx. You don't make it easy to even try. But I want to. I wouldn't be here if I didn't.
call;
Then he says something that makes her so exasperated her head hurts.]
Are you for serious right now? [She stares at him, confounded, before she explodes.] You make me feel everything! I don't even recognize myself when I'm with you! I don't smile. I don't giggle or--or trip up. I don't love people, okay!? But I love you!
Do you understand what that means to me? Because of all the things you make me feel, I rearranged my whole life! I don't have friends, I'm vulnerable, I'm so sexually frustrated I could kill myself, and it's all because you came outta the blue and made me fall for you.
[Wrap it up, Jinx. Think of that one good line. She takes a deep breath then manages two more sentences.]
So don't you dare make all of this not worth it for me because you like flirting! I need commitment and I deserve it.
call;
Well, that's the problem, isn't it? He never knows what feeling is next in store. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's a challenge. Right now it's just exhausting, and that's probably his own fault.
With a relationship comes not only love but responsibility, and that's clearly what Jinx feels is lacking here. It's what he's always lacked, really. He knows it, but he doesn't want to think about it as he tries to curb his frustration, his weariness, his urge to just walk away. He doesn't want to be here, but where can he go? No one else feels like Jinx.
And now it's his responsibility to make sure Jinx doesn't feel like anyone else.
A slight shift of his weight to the right is the only indication that her accusations haven't turned him to stone. Eerily still, gaze downcast, lost in thought. Exactly who doesn't deserve whom again?
"If you know it's a flaw, fix it!"
If even now she can insist she loves him, he should be able to do the same.]
I get it. I get it, okay? You deserve a lot more than just commitment. [He scratches at the back of his neck like a nervous tick until giving up the ghost and dropping his arm into a helpless shrug, as if to say, "This right here is all I've got to give."] Give me another chance to make you feel right. Please.
call;
In just a few, short sentences, he makes her feel like crap. All of the anger just dissolves and it's replaced with something far worse.
The sorceress backs down. Her arms wrap around her thin body and she lowers her chin, eyes wide.]
Is that what you think I'm...I don't wanna break up with you. [She sounds...scared.] I'm just mad and I love you and--don't leave me. Just--forget everything that just happened. Don't go away. Don't go.
call;
If I don't wanna break up with you, and you don't wanna break up with me, then I'm really, really, really lost.
[His voice is apologetic, accompanied by an ironic chuckle, and his eyes bleed melancholic sincerity.]
I'd do anything for you. That's all I'm trying to say. I swear.
call;
But he's not going anywhere. Even after she yelled at him, he's not leaving.]
Anything? [She asks it so tentatively, practically clinging to him.]
call;
Anything.
[Spoken so easily as a hand rests on the back of her head and a small smile finally resurfaces.]
call;
Then tell me you love me, that you'd never cheat on me, and that I'm the only girl you want.
And mean it. [...two sentences.]
call;
[Is that true? Does he mean it? He misses Saki, he wishes he'd done things differently, but he knows he can be happy without her. He didn't want that to be the case at first, but Mikado and Anri proved it could happen. Jinx is the same.
He doesn't even have to be with her. Just thinking about her makes everything easier, simpler, happier. She's a handful, she's so far over his head that it isn't funny, but she makes him forget all the things he doesn't want to remember and helps him replace them with things he never wants to forget.]
The only girl I want.
call;
And when he repeats his last sentence, it helps ground her. Helps solidify it. The girl's world practically revolves around Kida, and he just doesn't seem to get that. She's crazy about him, in every sense of the word.]
I'll always been your Tsun-Kitten, right? [Remember when she hated that nickname? When she yelled at him for calling her it?]
We're...okay, right? And I don't have to go rip that hussy to shreds?
call;
We're okay, Tsun-Kitten.
[As okay as anyone can be when working out relationship troubles in an alternate dimension with two moons.]
Body bags not required.
call;
Jinx nods a few times before she pushes herself up onto her toes. She lightly catches his lips with a chaste kiss, then comes back down until her boots are flat on the ground.]
Wanna go inside and help me pick...house out of my knuckles?
call;